I just had a long conversation with a friend whose wife makes his life miserable because of her insane jealousy. I researched the topic because I know a number of people who are the victims of jealous partners, and I found this article by Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D
Conjugal Paranoia Is A Disease
Morbid jealousy is not always caused by partner's act of infidelity. Morbidly jealous people find grounds for suspicion and accusations in unintentional, unavoidable and everyday behaviors of their partners. Accused partners can't figure out how to escape situations which might provoke accusation by their morbidly jealous partner.
Momentary lapse of attention or being distracted by something in the environment can enrage morbidly jealous partners for not paying total and undivided attention to them. An exchange of greeting or perfunctory conversation may be viewed as an act of enticing the members of opposite sex.
Victims of morbid jealousy reach a point when they don't want to get out of the house at all. Why go anywhere if it would always end up in a horrible fight! Forget about going to a beach or a mall. There are lots of potential "landmines." In spite of training their eyes to always look down and not wanting to meet the eyes of a member of opposite sex, they can't find a fool proof method.
Meeting past acquaintances can be a problem and might require a full historical report on that relationship. As a result, victims of morbid jealousy turn their head and try to look in the opposite direction to avoid an encounter with an old friend of opposite sex. They have to be careful what they say about the content of past relationships lest it should invite accusations of indiscreet amorous involvement.
Telephones invite their own share of grief. Even a genuine "wrong number" in voice of the opposite sex might be viewed as an attempt to arrange a secret rendezvous.
Going out with morbidly jealous partners provides them enough "fuel" for more accusations and fights. Going out without them requires a detailed and complete account of what one did and who one met. It's a "do-it-or-don't-do-it-you-are-damned!" situation.
Other times, the jealous person can be most gentle and loving people. This can be a real confusing situation for victim partners. They don't know which one is real. Is it the one who is so caring and loving or the one who is demeaning, hurtful and accusatory? Morbidly jealous change (or "snap" one should say) in a blink of eye.
If you are currently in a relationship with a morbidly jealous, don't get married. Marital vows won't make it better. On the contrary, it might get even worse. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault that your partner has a disease. Remember your partner has a disease, you don't. Of course, you can't treat it by more vocal assurances, evidence of your innocence or more convincing demonstration of your love.
Upon realization of the threat of the break up of relationship, morbidly jealous partners are enraged. They don't understand why their partners instead of correcting their own misbehavior desert them. When forced in a corner, they might agree to marital counseling.
Marital counseling can be educational for you but it won't treat morbid jealousy. Morbidly jealous person needs individual counseling and in some cases medication for other mental disorders. Victim partners should consult professionals in absence of their partners so they can freely ask questions and understand the extent of the problem or the progress in treatment.
Conjugal Paranoia Is A Disease
Morbid jealousy is not always caused by partner's act of infidelity. Morbidly jealous people find grounds for suspicion and accusations in unintentional, unavoidable and everyday behaviors of their partners. Accused partners can't figure out how to escape situations which might provoke accusation by their morbidly jealous partner.
Momentary lapse of attention or being distracted by something in the environment can enrage morbidly jealous partners for not paying total and undivided attention to them. An exchange of greeting or perfunctory conversation may be viewed as an act of enticing the members of opposite sex.
Victims of morbid jealousy reach a point when they don't want to get out of the house at all. Why go anywhere if it would always end up in a horrible fight! Forget about going to a beach or a mall. There are lots of potential "landmines." In spite of training their eyes to always look down and not wanting to meet the eyes of a member of opposite sex, they can't find a fool proof method.
Meeting past acquaintances can be a problem and might require a full historical report on that relationship. As a result, victims of morbid jealousy turn their head and try to look in the opposite direction to avoid an encounter with an old friend of opposite sex. They have to be careful what they say about the content of past relationships lest it should invite accusations of indiscreet amorous involvement.
Telephones invite their own share of grief. Even a genuine "wrong number" in voice of the opposite sex might be viewed as an attempt to arrange a secret rendezvous.
Going out with morbidly jealous partners provides them enough "fuel" for more accusations and fights. Going out without them requires a detailed and complete account of what one did and who one met. It's a "do-it-or-don't-do-it-you-are-damned!" situation.
Other times, the jealous person can be most gentle and loving people. This can be a real confusing situation for victim partners. They don't know which one is real. Is it the one who is so caring and loving or the one who is demeaning, hurtful and accusatory? Morbidly jealous change (or "snap" one should say) in a blink of eye.
If you are currently in a relationship with a morbidly jealous, don't get married. Marital vows won't make it better. On the contrary, it might get even worse. Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault that your partner has a disease. Remember your partner has a disease, you don't. Of course, you can't treat it by more vocal assurances, evidence of your innocence or more convincing demonstration of your love.
Upon realization of the threat of the break up of relationship, morbidly jealous partners are enraged. They don't understand why their partners instead of correcting their own misbehavior desert them. When forced in a corner, they might agree to marital counseling.
Marital counseling can be educational for you but it won't treat morbid jealousy. Morbidly jealous person needs individual counseling and in some cases medication for other mental disorders. Victim partners should consult professionals in absence of their partners so they can freely ask questions and understand the extent of the problem or the progress in treatment.
