NEW BEGINNING – 4

We now have been living together since October 15, the day of the Libra New Moon. It was an important day and the planets in heaven were showing it by their transits on both our astrological charts.

I was very hopeful that our co-habitation would be smooth and that our relationship would get closer. It did get closer…..but not in the way I was expecting. Yes, we were together every day, we did things together, walked together, meditated together, ate together, had great time together, but his reluctance to closeness made him back away from me, one day at a time.

He became more and more judgmental of my behavior, preaching to me and criticizing my lack of commitment toward improving my soul. He made me cry more often than I cared for and the joy I had felt when we would get together (before our co-habitation) has vanished.

Oh! He tells me nice things too, like “I am the best, a dream come true, without me nothing would have happened, etc...” He is very grateful for all the things I do for him and he thanks me all the time! He is also wonderful at home, taking care of things, cooking for me, preparing my breakfast every morning, calling me cute names and stroking my hair when he passes by me. But no more big hugs or kisses like we did before. He keeps away from me as much as he can, as if he is afraid of getting burnt!

It has been a roller coaster of a relationship! I never know how he is going to react to what I say or what I do. This is very funny!  Because he convinced me to break up my former relationship for that same reason: I was controlled by the man and had to tiptoe in his presence. Now, I feel exactly the same with him.

Is it my fault? Do I love him too much and therefore give him too much power over me? Do I do too much for him, making him feel guilty and thus reacting in a negative way? Maybe, but I do what I do without thinking, because my “guides” told me to take care of him, and I do.  Why?

The “Divine Plan” that put us together in my small New York apartment must be the answer, but I fail to see what the answer is. In two weeks we are both going on a trip to Mexico to spend the end of the Maya calendar in the country where it was created. We will be together for more than two weeks and we will share tight quarters, even tighter than my apartment!! What will happen then? Only God knows, who conceived this plan!